Things have been weird lately. I'm not sure if I'm depressed or just lazy or what. I've fallen into a bit of a funk here at home. Don't get me wrong, being here has been great for the most part. I had a fantastic holiday season with my brothers being here and going to New York with some of my favorite people... but since then? I'm completely unmotivated to find a real job and move on with my life.
Working part time and seeing my friends and family on a regular basis has been awesome, but it's definitely not what I want to do with my life! I haven't been able to come to terms with the thought of picking up and moving away again, but I also dread the idea of still being here in a year. I'm a little embarrassed to be living at home again - not that there is any shame in it - I just never thought that I would be doing it. I'm glad I'm here at this point, though. My dad's having more health issues and needs someone to be here with him while he goes through this and hopefully recovers. Actually, I think being here with him depresses me a little bit. He's not exactly an upbeat guy, but that's ok- I still love him.
At any rate, I'm totally over the whole Andrew thing. It's sort of nice to be single again - though I completely am horrible at meeting new people and even worse at dating! The good news is that I'm pretty ok with being on my own and am in no hurry to get into another relationship. Besides, there's no point in getting involved with anyone when I have no idea where I want to be in a year.
I've found a few jobs that look pretty much perfect for me - now I just have to get the desire to actually apply for them. Hopefully that motivation strikes me soon. First I want my dad to get a clean(ish) bill of health, though.
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3 years ago