Sadness...

OK so it's been a while since I've updated. I haven't had too much to say other than OMG work is almost over and I'm leaving China!! That is all still very true... work has officially ended and I leave China in 5 days. Fucking nuts!

That however, is not why I wanted to update this. I am updating because I just finished watching Schindler's List and I just had to write something about. First of all... man am I glad that I was never in history class those days that this was shown. Fuck... I haven't cried that hard in like a year. Movies basically never make me actually cry, this movie however, fuck! I'm like sitting on my couch watching the end of the movie fucking bawling.

I don't really even know how to express exactly what it is that got to me about it. I think a big part of it was realizing how much life has been lost as a result of the Holocaust... and the strength of so many of the people. Schindler was impressive, and I wish more men were like him in the world, but the strength of so many of the Jewish people is pretty astounding as well. The lack of humanity in a lot of the guards was also enlightening- Jewish and SS.

I have a dim view of humanity in general I think. I don't really want to or mean to... it's just a result of looking at the world and what humans have done to each other. At the end of the movie it says that from the 1,100 Jews that Schindler saved, there are over 6,000 descendants. Imagine how many people those 6 million that were senselessly murdered would have brought to this world. And that's just the one genocide. I know in every story there are the famous men and women like Schindler and Rusesabagina that risk their lives to save as many as they can... but for each story like theirs there are so many more of the opposite. There are so many killers to each savior that its amazing that humans are still alive. At least there are people from the outside who are willing to step in and condemn these actions and put a stop to them. Funny how to the outside it's always so clear that what is being is done is wrong... but on the inside it seems like the right choice.

On a related note, I read the book "The Plot Against America" by Philip Roth this week. That was also a bit disturbing. Sometimes I forget just how anti-semitic America was back then. An anti-semitic America is not a topic you hear a lot about anymore so I wonder how many SS fans are still around. It would probably disturb me to know. But yes... thank God America finally did step in and fight against the Germans. I am not always a big believer in America fighting other peoples' fights, but when it comes to the slaughtering of thousands upon thousands of people... I fully support us stepping and stopping it. It's a shame that it's not always as "easy" as fighting and defeating a country's army.

Well that's enough depression for tonight. I'm really glad I finally watched the movie though. I'm also really glad that I chose to do it alone. Fuck the Nazis and all crazy people in this world who think that other people deserve to die or be persecuted just for being. Life is hard enough.